Crona's Poem

Fifteen years ago,
I was put on earth.

I started life looking at the light in everything,
But that didn't last very long.

Because the truth is
There is no light.

How can there be light if
Every time I say something,
I’m always cut down.
So I just stay quiet.
Because I can’t deal with the pain of not being accepted.

Every time my mother’s eyes meet mine
All I see is the disappointment and failure she sees
Within me.
So I just stare at the floor.
Because I just can’t deal with the pain I've caused my mother to suffer with.

Most people only have their conscience to deal with after they have made a decision,
But I have a real person, who knows my every move,
My every thought,
To criticize me.
To have a new reason to harm me.
So I just stopped making decisions.
Because I just can’t deal with the pain of my mistakes.
Because I know I’ll make the wrong choice, no matter what I pick.

And
After fifteen years of this,
I earn friends that I don’t deserve.
I finally receive what I've yearned for my entire life,
Love. Appreciation. Support.
Yet, I can’t accept it.
Why, you ask?
Because I don’t deserve it.
Any of it.

I stand alone in a desert
That used to be a beautiful ocean
In a circle I drew with a stick
And sit alone
Forever

So, when people ask me, “ Isn't this nice, Crona?”
There is no answer to give.
Because the truth is
There is no light in anything.
There is no use in anything.

I’ll just stand alone
Homeless
Without love
And wish hard
That this life was all just a bad dream,
A nightmare,
That started fifteen years ago.
And hope that I’ll wake up.
Soon.